Affirmations of an optimist

Blog has moved

2009-01-05T20:10:00.000-08:00

I have moved my blog to the following url:

http://karthikdinakar.wordpress.com

Gumption

2008-03-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

For all the desires and goals that one can harbour, there is a virtue that is often overlooked. It tempers surreal expectations, and soothes the harshest of blows. It is in my opinion, one of the most potent weapons in the armory of the strong and the stable-minded, and a secret virtue of those that befriend success and nobility. It's quite common, I hear it being bandied all the time these days. It's not a big deal. It's called gumption - the ability to learn from your experiences.

Learning from one's experiences is the key, be it episodes of stark mistakes or high feats. I've always wondered how some people stumble in life, but stand up right back. I think it is because they know that it is not our experiences that decide who we really are, but the way in which we respond to them. Our response, therefore defines our personality and our individuality.

I've had some magical moments in the past two months. I regret to say that some of those experiences cannot be mentioned in this post :). I've seen that we are likely to meet all kinds of people in our everyday life. Some are worthy of our acquaintance, while others are deserve to be our bosom pals. There are others, who in the end turn out to be no better than a rat's posterior. And there it ends.

I've learned so much in the past two months. I have experienced a kind of independence that is very hard to explain - a liberation of sorts ; a realization that what matters at the end of the day is my attitude and my perception.

I am blessed, and owe it to my faith and to my upbringing to be a learning machine in my life, and go to bed a little wiser than what I was in the morning.

A good read - March

2008-03-22T01:28:00.000-07:00

Shelfari: Book reviews on your book blog

Anchored in Action

2007-12-24T22:11:00.000-08:00

There are times when troubles galore almost mockingly, as if to whipsaw the better part of your rationale with a wall of negativity that is seemingly impenetrable. It agitates one mentally and spiritually, forcing an internal perception of vulnerability and uncertainty into the deep recesses of your thoughts. It diminishes one's strengths, but wildly magnifies insignificant weaknesses. It is like a cunning hacksaw that slowly erodes away enthusiasm until one is left with nothing but resentment and self-pity. How does one avoid this dangerous quagmire? How does one stay above the fray and beat the often self-made ideas that drags one down? The answer in my opinion, is too simple and yet, very very powerful.

It is called faith and simplicity. There are some basic values - time-tested attributes of life that form the bedrock of who we are and what we stand for. Honesty, integrity, a stubborn insistence on self-discipline and an intense readiness for hard work are qualities that insulate a human-being against all possible attacks of negativity. It shields a person, creating a powerful circle of defense against the lows and problems that one is bound to encounter during all phases of his or her life. Those that have overcome enormous obstacles are those that have these qualities in abundance. And there is no reason why every person cannot nurture these qualities.

Over the past couple of months, I have realized that too much of analysis and premeditation is quite ineffective. We may all have wonderful thoughts and extremely noble ideas, but they are at the end of it all what they really are - just thoughts. So as nobly formed and as intensely felt as they are, thoughts are not action. They are just thoughts. Thoughts need to be translated into action, for our actions define our habits and our habits define who we really are. The right thing to do then is to translate thoughts and words into action. It is as simple as that. But the benefits are wide-reaching and permanent.

There is a new beginning on the anvil. The era of empty talk and mere thoughts are over. I will strive to to transform these very ideas into action - to take a resolute stand that personal discipline cannot be compromised, to deepen the willingness to work hard and to trust in the basic, enduring values that will help me to make the most of my God-given potential.

This is about being tough and resilient, and about being anchored in the fundamental principles that are the very essence of life. Action is faith and faith is action. For faith without action is not faith - it is an woefully empty chain of fleeting thoughts. As William Shakespeare said, "Be great in act, as you have been in thought".

Marching Season

2007-10-13T00:16:00.001-07:00

I've often wondered why some people are more susceptible to melancholy. Melancholy that is the bane of brooding over things that happened in the past, and things over which one has no control. Heck, the vast chunk of humanity seems to have a mysterious affinity for it. I've always thought of them as weak people, those unfortunate souls that have got trapped in a vicious cycle of self-pity and self-hatred ness. But never in the foggiest of my dreams did I expect that I'd ever go through such a phase. No one can ever be fully immune from certain things in life, or so it seems.

As I tried to stand back and try to observe myself from the point of view of an objective observer, I found certain startling things that otherwise I would have scarcely imagined. I discovered that I was attaching far too much importance to what to other people thought of me. Not once did I realize that it is really not good to allow your state of mind to be controlled and affected by what others think of you. Second, I had made, rather unwittingly, a certain pool of friends as the centre of my life. Friends are important, and there can be no doubt that they are to be cherished. But to make them the central focal point of everything is wrong. I have found that it makes one very vulnerable, much like the clueless puppet which obeys the person who holds its strings. Friends that understand you for what you are, and respect your views and stand up for you when you need it the most are those that are few and far-fetched. Those are the ones whose pats and brickbats can both be taken in the same vein.

Charlie Munger, in his address to this year's USC graduating law class, made some observations that resonated very well with me. According to him, there is no such love which can be greater than admiration-based love. Munger said that self-pity is the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone. And he's too right. To dwell endlessly and to constantly ponder over what we think is our apparent victimization is a self-defeating mode to be in. There can be no help to the one who chooses to diminish his self-worth. One of the strongest virtues that anyone can have is to simply like yourself - to understand that everyone is born unique, and that the qualities and attributes that you define who you are is really the best part of you. All men and women are created equal. That is a much hackneyed phrase. But very true nonetheless.

The choice is therefore clear. As Stephen Covey says, reactive people are those who get influenced by what others think of them. They feel happy when somebody is nice to them, and feel down if the weather is bad. Proactive people, on the other hand, are those whose strength is derived from basic, enduring values. They are value-based. Their sense of self-worth stems from the values that stand for, and they are value-centric. Value centric, as opposed to being friends-centric or people-centric. I think I completely agree with Covey. The time has come for me to put myself first before many other things in life - the time to understand that it is only our values that will last forever and not other people.

Over the past few months, I have met with some truly admirable people. Ganesh Ram Natarajan, the dynamic and humble lad whose insights about people and life are something quite remarkable. Krish, the stalwart icon of toughness, who has become my mentor now. I am extremely thankful to him; he's ready with his advice when I need it the most. Jayashree Venkatesh, the girl whose relentless focus on self-improvement is almost infectious.

What a paradigm shift I've undergone through the last couple of weeks. It startles me that I had so many drawbacks and still I never realized that I had them. Things are very different now, and things will take a turn for the better now. I can vouch for it. The time of crawling with the needless baggage of melancholy is over. The time is to march ahead full gusto is here. The beacon should burn brightly and the phoenix must rise. For that is what they are meant to be.

Thank you

2007-08-03T22:59:00.000-07:00

I got converted from an intern to an employee at Yahoo!. Thanks to all the people who have helped me for this. The beacon shines brightly.

" Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves "
- Germaine Greer.

Privilege of a lifetime

2007-07-29T00:31:00.000-07:00

It is as though you step into another world. A world so complete and so rich in detail, that it appears as if you are in it. You are so immersed in it, and so mesmerized by its newfangled way of life, that you adore and relish every moment of it. It is like gliding like an adventurous cloud over a vast wonderland. No, I am not talking about the Aurthur Conan Doyle or about Tolkien. I'm taking about Joanne Kathleen Rowling's world of magic. Yes, I'm talking about Harry Potter.

I was waiting for the release of the seventh book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for a long time. I was in my fourth semester when the sixth book was released. From then on, I've been waiting patiently for the twenty first of July of this year. I was very excited about this date, and was looking forward to the excitement and awe that the book would bring. A wave of expectation, of palpable tension, and of pure fun. :)

And the book kept its promise. As customary, I had my eyes glued to the book from the first page to the last. Time and daily ablutions took a back seat, for I was not where I was. My mind had drifted - to chart the stunning journey of Harry, Ron and Hermione to thwart Voldemort, to witness what they discover about their own past, and to mourn the deaths of so many good people.

This book by far is the gravest among all the others that Rowling has written till date. It fills in the glaring gaps that were formed by the previous book and explains many of the things that were not so clear in the earlier books. We learn a lot about Harry's past, especially about his mother and his aunt. I didn't have the foggiest of dreams that Grizenwald was so relevant even fifty years after his death. The saddest part of the book is when one learns about the death of so many characters. I suppose this was inevitable, but it is still hard to read about the death of a character that one had really liked. I dont want this post to be spoiler, and will therefore not name these characters. But they have my tributes and my affection, for they died fighting for what was right.

I have grown reading the Harry Potter books, and I adore them immensely. This series is all about the power of love - of how it gives people protection, feeds them with hope and helps them to resist evil, even in the most testing of times. The books also highlight friendship, and tell us why friends should mean more to us than any other wordly treasure that we can have. They also remind us that whoever we are, and whatever our level of intelligence or wealth, we must never forget who we really are, what brought us to where we are, and who sent us here in the first place.

A friend of mine told me recently that last book had a very naive ending, much like the usual dross that bollywood produces. I was told the book was nothing more than the droppings of a bull. I suppose this view is shared by quite a few. I have nothing but scorn for these people, for they seem to be complaining about the fact that good will always triumph over evil. I pity them, for they are incapable of either appreciating or enjoying what is good. They'd rather finish off every character in the book, and end it with agony and with misery. Is there something that these people do enjoy in life? They might offer the teeniest of smiles if Bellatrix Lestrange was somehow alive. But nothing more. They are blinkered and fettered by the limitations of having a saddist outlook on life.

I am so glad that I have read the series. I have thoroughly enjoyed every single line of each of the seven books. The power of forming a mental image of a world not present and not previously known or experienced - the power and resourcefulness of imagination is great. Tributes to Rowlling for writing these books and my deepest affection for Dumbledore, Harry, Hermione and Ron.

Steadfast and resolute

2007-07-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

Even for those who are genetically sensitive, those inclined towards a conservative view of themselves, there are times when the tides of life seem to hit especially hard. The past month and a half has been particularly tough and testing. Nothing seems to work, and no amount of hard work and diligence seems to fetch anything substantial. It is as though one is meandering through stagnant waters, where no matter how hard you row, you are at the end of it all, still meandering.

What I should have done differently, or how better I should have done things - I do not know. Looking back in hindsight, I cannot see what mistakes I could have possibly done. These are testing times. And its been quite painful.

It is in these troubling times that I ought to summon those basic, most enduring beliefs that I once taught myself. I will not allow situations that are beyond my control to get the better of me and bring me to brink of shedding tears. I will not bow to this pressure of pessimism, and I will not trade my confidence for diffidence. My faith in God stands unshakable. He is my stalwart friend and ally. And he is on my side. That suffcies. The bells of St.Peters ring again.

I am determined to ride out this storm. I will emerge stronger. Bertie Charles Forbes once said "He who has faith has an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly."

I choose to be steadfast and resolute during these testing times.

The Fellowship will continue

2007-05-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

Today marks the day when we had our very last class in college. The last class in a long time span of four years. Attendance was taken for the last time, and it was the final moment when we all sat together as a class.

Yes, the time has come when the curtains draw down on one phase of our lives. The end of a glorious period of learning, of forging magnificent acquaintances, and of cementing bonds of fellowship that ought to last for a lifetime.

I have met so many wonderful people during these four years. I have seen talent, conviction and acts of friendship, things that stand as a testimony to the fact that there is a lot of good in this world.

I will probably never get to do many of these again - the arduous task of choosing between the front and last benches, getting up early to finish off last minute practical records, and giving in to intense drowsiness after a heavy lunch in a boring class.

I have had my share of mistakes during these four years, but I have learned a lot from them. I have ridden euphorically on the crests of achievements and wallowed in the troughs of hard times too. If there is one thing that I have learned more than anything else during these four years, it is the truth that life is a matter of choice. We cannot control many of the things that lifes has for us, but we have a choice to react to them in the manner that we want to. This is a realisation that will never go away.

I am fortunate to be graduating in this this year. Never before in history was there a time of so many opportunities, and therefore such a blessed chance for us to succeed in our careers. Never before in history have social disparities been so stark. And never before in history have we faced challenges of such acute climate change that threatens our very survival.

I am filled with awe and gratitude for all that has been given to me. And I am filled with absolute determination to do what it takes to walk the path that I have chosen for myself.

To all the wonderful people that I have met in college, you have my thanks and my prayers. I will always carry fond memories of college with me. Though we might all get scattered, we will always be the graduating class of 2003.

William Shakespeare once wrote, "I count myselt in nothing else so happy as in a soul rememb'ring my good friends."

The fellowship will always live on.

The North Gate opens

2007-03-17T01:34:00.000-07:00

This certainly has to be the most wonderful week that I have had in years. I made it to Yahoo! as an intern. A place of I had so yearned for. A place where I really wanted to be.

This means more than an internship - it means that basic values are always indispensible, that every ounce of hard work is rewarded, and that every fibre of faith is always held true.

I am about to enter a new and exciting world of opportunities and challenges. I want to do my best. And I want to have a ball!

I want to thank Ashwin for introducing me to freeBSD. Thanks to Vishwanath of Yahoo!, Sushma Bhat and Shruthi Nanjappa for everything. So many people to thank, so many prayers of gratitude and praise. I feel good. Hope triumphs over needless despair and optimism replaces whinning.

Into the journey set forth by the lighting of the Beacon, in whose glow and warmth I shall bask. I tread the path that I once chose for myself. Like Enya says, ' I'll flag, I'll fall, I'll falter, but I will find my way'.

In the words of Emmanuel, "As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit."

The North Gate has opened.

Live Life

2007-02-26T09:48:00.000-08:00

It's been an incredible past couple of weeks. Quite intriguing actually. It's been a time of self-discovery, and of learning the bare truths about life. A realisation and an acceptance - that the worries of a man should be of no more importance to him than the scurrying of ants is to this universe.

I have learnt that life is precious, and life is unique. It is also a gift. To worry needlessly would amount to wasting it. The true meaning of life is when one studies not only for the sake of an examination, but to quench a thirst for knowledge. To seek a job not just because of the thick pay packets, but for the sheer joy of working and contributing to this world. To look forward to tomorrow not as a high-voltage strategy of risk management, but to believe in the hope that tomorrow will be better than today.

This means that life must be enjoyed. It must be cherished. I must do what I feel like doing, not what I am told to do. Society is and will be, for the forseeable futute, a consensus of the stagnant. But this openness and liberty also brings with it common sense and wisdom - to know when to stop or where to draw the lines, as I doubt there is a single sane man who is born without the innate ability to reason and to be balanced.

To each man his own - his own path, his own choice of partners for life, his own passions and way of living.

As one of my close friends said to me the other day, 'Life is too short for you to not start enjoying it'

Lead kindly light. :)

Serenity and Bliss

2007-01-26T22:23:00.000-08:00

I am back after my trip to Kukke Subhramanya, a magnificent sacred place nested whtin the picturesque hills of the Western Ghats. I was a little hesitant to visit it at first, but I lost my apprehensions once I reached the place.

I really enjoyed watching all the greenery that surrounds this truly unique place. My face and lungs, conditioned to breathing dirty air here in Bangalore, welcomed the atmosphere that bathes Kukke. I am convinced that it is delusion that we lead comfortable lives in our cities. Nothing could be more further from the truth. We live in concrete jungles, with little affection for greenery, and afflict our bodies to the mercy of all dreaful chemicals imaginable. This is a great disadvantage, for man was never born to live like this. I have decided therefore to get back to nature - to appreciate greenery and spend more time with it.

The devout fervour with which the people come to Kukke is really inspiring. They come early in the morning, after their bathing ablutions in the holy river, dressed in pure vasthras that gleam white. They come with folded hands, offering their prayers to him. They pray not only for themselves but for all who are dear to them. They pray for health and happiness, two of the most important purposes for a man's existence. And when they eat his prasada and head back, their faces glow serenity and bliss, for they must feel self-assured that their prayers have indeed reached God.

I earnestly pray and hope that I become a better human being after this trip.

The importance of Hope

2007-01-20T23:15:00.000-08:00

Great thinkers have always vouched for it. Great leaders have used it to inspire generations. And all great revolutions are based on it. It is a force that exists in all of us, however oblivious we may be towards it. It is a sweet gift that all humans are blessed with. This is our ability to hope.

I have learnt a lot of things during the course of the last year. If there is one thing that I have gained from it, then it is the importance of hope in my life. The last year was in many ways an eye-opener for me, and I have come to realise the root causes of many of my problems, both personal and academic.

There are ups and downs in everyone's lives. But the difference between the happy and the sad is essentially this: how these ups and downs are viewed and dealt with. For too long now, I have dwelled endlessly on what I perceived to be failures on my part. Reflecting on one's failures is generally good, but when it takes too much of your time, it is dangerous - for it soon becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that will very quickly break every slice of confidence that you have in yourself.

So the first step for me is to realise that failures are often the stepping stone to success. Whoever became what they did without facing failure? It is clear that he who quickly learns from his failures and gets on with life unperturbed is the one that will triumph.

To hope then, is to breathe life - to free the mind from negativism and fill it instead with a lifting, positive attitude. I am so glad that I have come to learn of this all because of my own experiences. Three cheers for hope. Its hit me, and here to stay.

Enchanted by a Magical Spell

2006-12-24T06:55:00.000-08:00

Characters come and go. There are so many in any novel, that sometimes it becomes difficult even to remember their names. Yet, there are some characters that are otherwise. They are not only admired and loved by their readers, but are also cherished and owned. Whether it was Arthur Conan Doyle or Tolkien, story tellers have always introduced us to individuals that capture the spirits of those that meet them, by reading. How an author can do it - magically bonding the readers with his or her characters is a mystery that no science can ever tell.

One such character that I have come to meet is Albus Dumbledore. In fact, Albus Percival Brian Wulfric Dumbledore. It is through J K Rowling's magical Harry Potter Series that one can meet this great man.

Believed to have been born in the 1850's, Dumbledore was an extremely talented wizard. His uncommon, often awe-provoking talents is best described by an elderly witch who tested him at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Dumbledore is said to have done things which his examiner had never seen done with a wand before. And this was when he was hardly fifteen. It is not surprising that we learn that Dumbledore defeats the dark wizard Grizenwald in 1945.

Dumbledore in many ways is the Einstein and Newton combined, a man of enormous brainpower and extraordinarily thought-instilling intellect. He was offered the post of Minister of Magic on many occasions, but he did not take it. For a great mind is never drawn towards the travesty of holding power.

Dumbledore is also the only wizard that Voldemort ( the darkest, most evil wizard of all times) always feared. Dumbledore protects Harry Potter ever since he becomes an orphan. As headmaster at Hogwarts, he ensures that Harry is prepared for his decisive encounter with Voldemort.

But I never thought of having to bid Dumbledore goodbye. But it happened. In the sixth book, Dumbledore is greatly weakened after destroying one of Voldemort's Horcruxes. That apparently is one clue as to what happens to him at the end of the book, even if one discounts Sybill Trelawney's card omens and Harry Potter's own suspicions.

So as I sat on my bed flipping through the last few pages of the sixth book, I read to my horror that Dumbledore is killed by Severus Snape, an odd man whom I never liked. Dumbledore was dead. I wouldn't believe it. A few pages on, I read about Dumbledore's burial and I still wouldn't believe it. In fact, I was so outraged that I walked up to my sister and told her rather tartly that Dumbledore was not dead.

Only a month later, many websites had appeared all supporting theories which said that he was not dead, and that he would return in the seventh book. My own hopes were raised even further, and I thought I would definitely see him again in the seventh book.

But I was wrong. Like a jolt from a blue sky, Rowling confirmed a few months ago that Dumbledore was 'definitely dead', and that we must not expect him to 'do another Gandalf'. I swore against Rowling in a manner that I'd never sworn before.

He would not return. He had gone. Dumbledore was no more. Before I had to sink in what I'd just read, tears were flowing thick and fast onto my lap. I couldn't help it, for I felt a strange sense of loss, that something valuable and noble had left me. I was sitting there, crying for the first time after a gap of what seemed ages.

Dumbledore, in many ways represented everything that is good in this world. He was courteous and simple, yet powerful and brave. He vouched for the incomparable power of love over any spell or incantation in the world. He helped so many people in his lifetime, and was in every way, one of the greatest men the wizarding world has ever come to see.

In the years that I have read Rowling's books, Dumbledore had become almost a grandfather to me. He may be fictional and cease to exist in the real world, but I will always remember him. I've been put under some odd kind of spell (however surreal you many think this is) that'll make me remember him for a very long time to come.

Dumbledore was one of the few wizards how could conjure the Grubrathian Fire, or the everlasting fire that would burn endlessly. A part of Dumbledore's Grubrathian Fire exists in my heart.

Happy b'day dear iPod

2006-10-23T08:46:00.000-07:00

The classy iPod turned 5 today. Though I got my one of my own just a year back, I cannot but appreciate it every single time that I use it. The iPOD is a testimony to Apple's creativity and ingenuity, things that are in short supply in their erstwhile competitors.

Not only is the iPOD so sleek and compact, its LCD display interface is crystal perfect. Never mind if I have to recharge the battery more frequently. The first time that I saw a image tag of a song in its entirity on the screen, I was stunned to see such clarity, and that too on such a small scale.

Apple was clever to separate iTunes and the iPod. Adding, updating and deleting songs can all be done on the computer, and the iPod is to be used only for listening. I doubt if any other company could have come up with a clear and smart separation like Apple did. Not to mention that the sound quality is almost as good as that of a Bose audio player.

There are many copycats trying to bring out their own versions of the music players. I really doubt if any of them will be as appealing and enduring as the iPod
is. Steve Jobs and the guys at Apple must be congratulated for giving us a smart , sleek and sexy device that I have thoroughly enjoyed :)

Some of my favourite people

2006-09-01T04:47:00.000-07:00

Don't Get Lost In The Crowd

You are the one that keeps your dream alive

And you are the one who feels the rhythm deep inside

Do you ever wonder if you can make you fly?

But you will never know, if you don't really try

There's so many fast framesQuick cuts and a million stars

Can make you wonder

Can make you dream ahead from the start

When you know your heart and follow your own destiny

Don't get lost in the crowd

Be the one to be strong and turn heads around

Even from dark to light

You are the spark

You have the fire

You are the heart

Now be a believer

Don't get lost in the crowd -

- Ashley Ballard

Make me a channel of your peace

2006-08-24T10:16:00.000-07:00

A hymn that amplifies one's petition to the Maker. In times of change and tumult, and opportunities alike, I need his guidance.

Make me a channel of your peace
Where there is hatred let me bring your love
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord
And where there's doubt, true faith in you

Oh, Master, grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand
To be loved, as to love with all my soul.

Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life let me bring hope;
Where the is darkness, only light;
And where there's sadness, ever joy

Make me a channel of your peace
It is pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all men that we receive;
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.

Rise of a Phoenix

2006-08-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

The days have been flying at pace faster than the wink of an eye. Much has happened over the course of the past three years. In fact, quite a lot. There have been many happy moments. Occasions when I've been thoroughly satisfied and pleased. Yet there has been a flicker of a thought that says I can and should be doing much better. I've always been conscious of this thought. The very fact that it has lingered so long is proof that it has burrowed itself in the deep recesses of my mind.

It was a foolish blunder on my part not to have studied hard and to have made my way into one of the IIT's. I got into a top college nonetheless, but the past three years have been far from satisfactory. It's been frustrating, and I know it. All said and done, I settled for something that was second best. Second best not because it was imposed on me, but I chose to impose it on myself. And that is something that I am not proud of at all.

Why does one willingly and knowingly abandon the right course of action in life and regret it later? Why did I choose procratination over hard work, and trade common sense for sluggishness? These are questions that I have to answer. I cannot wish them away.

It is true that I have not lived up to my own expectations. But since when has life been a smooth affair for anyone? People make mistakes, and I've made mine. But the important thing for me is not to ponder over something that cannot be undone. Nothing can be done about milk that has already been split.

The time has come to cast myself into the future. I have an aim in mind - a goal that I desperately want to achieve. I am cognizant of what it takes to reach that goal post. There can be no substitute for hard work, and no replacement for discipline, for even the longest and most treacherous of journeys cannot be made without them.

I find the phoenix to be a most amazing creature. When it grows weak, it bursts into flames and reduces itself to ashes. But then it regrows from those very ashes, back again to a bird worthy of awe - a bird which can carry enormous weights and whose tears have healing powers.

The phoenix must rise.

The Battle of Mount Behemoth begins

2006-06-25T08:34:00.000-07:00

In the quiet ambience of a chamber, lies the Hobbit. Everything in the chamber is in kilter. The pervading calmly atmosphere within its walls hides that which cannot be seen. The Hobbit mills around steadily, careful to keep himself composed but alert. Composed so that he can muster all the energy that he can, alert so that he can channel it to a cause that comes calling.

A spirit of fire blazes within the Hobbit, who has prepared for the task before him. War is looming. This is a war unlike any other, for there are no enemies to slay. The real foe lies within. A foe that is unperceptible, yet a bottleneck which cannot be ignored.

The great mass of Mount Behemoth stands before the Hobbit. To win the war, the Hobbit must climb its treacherous contours. Mount Behemoth is an aggregation of the forces of procrastination, of laziness, and of ineptitude. Only the one who conquers these vices can climb this structure. It stands there, as an eloquent witness to the weakness that all men are born with.

This is a test of twenty one days. The Hobbit is aware that not even the hardest hours of work and preparation will suffice in the absence of divine support. God is always with the Hobbit.The Hobbit asks for forgiveness for all the wrongs that he might have committed. The Hobbit knows not of any other true friend. Such is the power of the Maker.

The fiery spear of sheer faith, grit and resolve is coming. Not even Mount Behemoth can stand in its way.

Lead kindly light.

Lead me, Guide

2006-05-17T01:41:00.000-07:00

I dont remember the first time that I heard of Pope John Paul II. Must have been in standard seven. That seems such a long time ago if truth be told. Time, as always, just keeps flying and we amble along, unable to slow matters.

Born in the Polish town of Krakov, this humble soul has touched lives like no one else in that capacity, in a papacy that lasted for almost twenty seven years.

My trysts with destiny brought me close to my grandparents. I have seen my grandmother and grandfather in their last years, and by so doing, I've been lucky to perceive and witness the thought, temper and innocence of old age. That degree of proximity is the priviliege of a lucky few. I am so thankful to count myself amongst them.

To have seen this Pope alongside my ailing grandmother was perhaps the single significant factor to build this special bond with his papacy. Pope John Paul's beatification of Mother Teresa of Calcutta and his last visit to India are still fresh in my mind. But perhaps the most poignant memory of him would be his trip to the holy land.

As he touched down at Jerusalem's airport, he was received by Ehud Barak, the then Israeli Prime Minister. Suffering from parkinson's disease was so evident, but mattered so little to the man, as a mound of earth in a tray was given to him for the ritualistic tradition of kissing the soil.

At the church of the Holy Sepelchre, the Pope knelt down to kiss and pray at what is believed to be the tomb of Christ. As he knelt there praying, tears trickled down his face and fell on the tomb's pavement. I was touched. The Pope had my heart. He had my respect.

It is this kind of pure devotion, and the love for human lives in all its diversity that has won him the hearts of so many. Whether it's the sight of him releasing doves, kissing a baby or reaching out to young people in the crowd, he will always be remembered for being a people's Pope, a Pope who travelled far and wide for a cause so pure and inspiring, that it touched people of every religious background.

The world has war mongerers and invaders. The world has terrorists who believe in the spilling of innocent blood. You can always find such people, but you cannot find another John Paul.

He is no longer Pope John Paull II. He is Pope John Paul the Great. A great soul whose life is a living example that there still is good in the world. Even in his manner of dying, he has exemplified human dignity.

I count myself amongst the lucky few woh've been able to watch his funeral- a man whose universal appeal is eternal. In moments when I'm down and sad, moments that call for resolve and courage, the picture that flashes in my mind are those of the Vatican with its ceremonial bell ringing. Such is the impact the this Pope has had on me.

Lead kindly light.

Inspired by Mathey

2006-05-13T19:47:00.000-07:00

Written by Muthaiyah Bhagavathar- the asthana vidhan of the Mysore Kingdom, Mathey is a classical carnatic song which inspires the mind, soothes senses and celebrates the greatness of the ultimate giver of life.

Mathe Malaya dhwaja pandya samjathe mathanga vadana guha(4)
Mathe Malaya dhwaja pandya samjathe mathanga vadana guha(21)
Sakodari sankari Chamundeswari chandrakaladari thaye gouri(5)
DADA nidadani dadanida danipama
DADA nirisani sadanisa dapapama
DADA nigarini risanida panidama
DADA magamapa mapa dada nini dama
DADA risanida ni da da madanima ni
DADA sasapada ni da da magarisa ni
DADA pa DA da ni DA da saDA
niDA magari sani da nisanini dada pama Data
sakala kala nipuna chathura Data vividha matha samaya samarasa Data sulabha hrudaya madhura vachana Data sarasa ruchira tara swaralaya Geetha sukada nija bhava rasikavara dhata Mahisha suranada nalmadi srikrishna rajendra nadaya Sada pore mahitha harikesa manohare sadaya Mathe Malaya dhwaja pandya samjathe mathanga vadana guha (11/2) Shyame sakala bhuvana sarva bhoume sasi mandala madhyaga (5)
1.MA,MA, pani dada papa magamapa MA,MA, nida MAsani dapadada(2)
Shyame sakala bhuvana sarva bhoume sasi mandala madhyaga
2.nidanida dapapama
PAPA nidapama gamaPA nidaMA sanidapa MAnida(2)
Shyame sakala bhuvana sarva bhoume sasi mandala madhyaga
3.saSAsa nidanisa niDApa magamapa maMAma samagama pasanida NI;
(7) nidani padani mapadani gamapadani samagama padani samagari sasanida pada Shyame sakala bhuvana sarva bhoume sasi mandala madhyaga

The road to North Gate

2006-04-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

Another month draws to a close. I've just finished taking my second internals. I've done well. So it is that time again when the mind is free to think and reflect on the direction that life is heading towards.

I had planned a lot for this month. I may not have done all the things that I would have liked to have done, but it's been a satisfying month nonetheless.

There were a lot of bottlenecks and hurdles this month. Most of it created by an over-sensitive mind, but some borne out of the recklessness of others.

My goals thus far are evidently clear. I recognise the importance of this particular period in my life. I think every effort that I can make, every source of strength that I can find and every positive thought that I can muster matters.

During the past month, I have recognised those who are with me and those that I had assumed were with me. My list of close friends has diminished this month. Irreparable, permanent damage has been done to two bonds of friendship in particular. I wish these people well, for they are good souls. But I cannot linger anymore. Life comes calling and I have to amble along.

I am so blissfully happy to have Ro, and to have God. I have no closer friend than God. He is my guide, my critic, and my biggest source of strength. He will never abandon me, for my heart confirms that he wont. He will show me the path towards the milestone, and give me the power to bear the painful obstacles that lie within. He is my rock.

This particular period is mine to conquer. I should not waste it, for it will not be given to me again. In my quest to reach the milestone, I may fall or falter or flag, but I will not shed my individuality and my sense of purpose. The path towards the North Gate may not have many people in it, but is the only path that I wish to take.

The road towards the North Gate is spread in front of me. There it runs, as a living testimonial to human feat and human challenges.

I will find a way. Lead kindly light. :)

The importance of Integrity

2006-03-16T04:19:00.000-08:00

One great work of literature often conspires with another to proclaim the same set of ideas. Ideas that have inspired great thinkers for generations, ideas that have remained in place since the inception of mankind. Being as they are, in existence for countless centuries without the slightest of changes, they are no longer mere ideas. They are the fundamental truths that drive the immaterial essence of individual life - that which fuel the part of the soul which directs the individual in his life.

When I first read Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead, I didn't have the foggiest of clues about the sheer power of the book. A philosophical masterpiece written by one of the most awe inspiring figures in the history of literature. People had forewarned me that understanding the book would be daunting, and that the language would be unreadably convoluted. Ayn Rand, as rightly pointed out by one observer, writes beautifully, brilliantly and bitterly. For me, reading the book was nothing less than a churning experience - a acrid experience which shook me off my intellectual grandstanding.

The essence of the novel is man's integrity. I have many plans for my future. I am astutely aware of the purpose of my life and the directions that it should take. Making plans, strategising and analysing makes a good beginning. But a good beginning is a job half done. The real test lies in the implementation, in the actual act of performing it all. Despite my best efforts, I am often enslaved to nototious habits that I have inherited from a dappler of sources. Simple tasks like turning up at the promised time for a date, or getting into class five minutes before it begins - have all appeared to have taken the backseat. I now realise how important these things are - that I am in fact cheating myself.

If I cannot do the things that I promise myself, then that is the end of all things. That not only shows the callous view I have of my own worth, but also points towards lack of integrity.

Integrity in life, at least to oneself is important. I am so glad and happy that I read the Fountainhead. As Shakespeare said about four hundred years ago ' the brain may devise laws for the blood, but a hot temper leaps over a cold decree'. A wonderful instance of two literary geniuses reinforcing a common idea. Proof of the fact that personal integrity is a fundamental virtue of any individual.

Lead kindly light.

The Beacons are lit

2006-01-18T00:59:00.000-08:00

Time makes haste. Years have seen their share of joy, interleaved with stretches of emptiness and pain, yet bearing the stamp of inspiration. The eye is now fixed on the future. Will the future be the past, or will it bring a new lease of power and vigour? The eye focuses with rapt attention, whilst the mind delves into the realm of the uncharted - flashes of the past, some things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass.

Planet earth likens itself with a burning furnace. The cast iron now emerges, after dwelling twenty years in the furnace. Earthly impurities linger, although the mantle is purged of unworthy traits. The next stage in the journey has arrived; the mantel is now the protagonist.

The Beacon of Afflatus stands aloft on top of a landmass higher than the highest peak, amidst a thick blanket of fog. There, on the stalwart rocks of faith, stands a hobbit, with the mantel piece in his little hand. Thoughts of the last Pontiff and of the mission sweep through him. An angel called Ro stands beside him. In his right hand he holds the mantel bearing the fire; with his left he pours the oils of Chamarajpet into the firewood of the beacon.

He plunges the flame into the wood, conscious and informed of the magnitude of the task in front of him. The wood bursts into flames, and the Beacon of Afflatus if lit. Hope and eagerness fills the hobbit. He can even hear the great bell of St. Peters ringing – a sign from the grotto that’ll he’ll never be alone.

The Beacons have been lit. Aspiration and optimism are kindled. The hobbit’s diminutive steps might seem naïve and insignificant, but even the smallest of steps can change the course of the future.

Matters of the heart

2005-12-21T08:56:00.000-08:00

The concept of gender equality happens to be one of the most alluring ideologies of our times. So much as it bandied about all around these days, it has been used far too easily as a power tool for the fairer sex. It is, in today's cosmopolitan world a concept that has deviated a bit far from its noble, original ideas.

Women are undoubtedly the casualties of a male dominated society. That violence and oppression hinders women all around the world is a fact that besmirches all humanity. The inalienable rights of women to lead an independent, full life is in tune with the universal sense of justice.

But as is so often the case with the ideologies and movements of our times, this noble idea of giving women more rights in the name of gender equality has gone a step too far in some domains. I object to this inexcusable sheltering in the name of gender equality.

Right through school and beyond, the boys are told that it is always a guy who walks up to a girl and starts the course of friendship. It is a pious law for some girls to compulsorily wait for a boy to come upto to them and introduce himself. Anytihing that follows - a date, a prom party or a proposal for wedlock - they all have to emanate from the boy. Why cannot the female sex do some of these things for a change ? Why mount the burden of initiative only on the male?

I'd like to know how many boys proposed to girls on this planet since the time of Adam and Eve. I'd also like to know how many girls did the same things to boys. I'd also love to know how many girls actually give something to their boyfriends on Valentine's day. How many girls pay the bills of dinner on a date? Let us count the figures on both sides and compare them for argument's sake.

What does one see when this comparison is made? A glaring disparity of an over-stretched idea, an uneven stack of figures that puts the male sex in the limelight of scrutiny. The image now is not of someone dominating society, but of someone who struggles for the better half of his life trying everything in his power to woo the fairer sex. I say with impunity that some men spend indeed an entire life for it.

Male dominance in society, violence and crime against women - they deserve to be condemned in the harshest terms possible. But I also condemn the caviler attitude of women towards men who try to do so much to woo them. Whoever said that the male hormone testosterone makes him more eager to seek a partner is right. But whoever thinks that the female sex dont have urges and naturally dont find the need to take the first move, is a numskull.

Men have feelings, even if it is hidden in a mask of manliness. Men have a heart too. Which means they are as palpable to pain as women are. Men get hurt too. Which ever girl runs away when boy who likes her talks to her affects him so. And how many times have I heard the hackneyed catchphrase of our times saying ' How can you talk/behave/do that to a girl'.

My simple question, which I beg you to consider is just this - why doesn't anyone say ' How can you talk/behave/do that to him' ?

For all the men and boys who have been sad because someone of the opposite sex turned him down or was indifferent to him, I say this -don't be proud to be strong, but don't be afraid to be weak either.

Hope springs eternal

2005-12-15T08:43:00.000-08:00

John Keats - To Hope

When by my solitary hearth I sit,
And hateful thoughts enwrap my soul in gloom;
When no fair dreams before my "mind's eye" flit,
And the bare heath of life presents no bloom;
Sweet Hope, ethereal balm upon me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o'er my head!

Whene'er I wander, at the fall of night,
Where woven boughs shut out the moon's bright ray,
Should sad Despondency my musings fright,
And frown, to drive fair Cheerfulness away,
Peep with the moonbeams through the leafy roof,
And keep that fiend Despondence far aloof!

Should Disappointment, parent of Despair,
Strive for her son to seize my careless heart;
When, like a cloud, he sits upon the air,
Preparing on his spell-bound prey to dart:
Chase him away, sweet Hope, with visage bright,
And fright him as the morning frightens night!

Whene'er the fate of those I hold most dear
Tells to my fearful breast a tale of sorrow,
O bright-eyed Hope, my morbidfancy cheer;
Let me awhile thy sweetest comforts borrow:
Thy heaven-born radiance around me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o'er my head!

Should e'er unhappy love my bosom pain,
From cruel parents, or relentless fair;
O let me think it is not quite in vain
To sigh out sonnets to the midnight air!
Sweet Hope, ethereal balm upon me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o'er my head!

And as, in sparkling majesty, a star
Gilds the bright summit of some gloomy cloud;
Brightening the half veil'd face of heaven afar:
So, when dark thoughts my boding spirit shroud,
Sweet Hope, celestial influence round me shed,
Waving thy silver pinions o'er my head!

Taking care of a marvel

2005-12-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

There are so many wonderful features that nature builds into every human. Every living organism for that matter. The human body is nothing less than an absolute marvel. Not only is the human body one of nature's most phenominal creations, it is also the best tangible definition of perfection.

That we know so little about our own bodies is truely unfortunate. That we regularly choose to insult our bodies through our acts of physical inaction and mental ineptitude is mournful. Most of us have a some understanding of the human body and what is right for it. But for some baffling reason, we often to do what is wrong for it and not pause to realise that we've done ourselves more harm than good.

Physical sluggishness and a sedantary lifestyle is perhaps the most commonly found traits in people. Spending hours in front of a TV, leaning slothfully on a couch while ingesting unhealthy snacks is decidedly disagreeable. Spending hours in front of a computer, or playing video games for instance- all fall in the same category.

If this laziness was'nt enough, we also harm our bodies through the grey matter that exists between our ears. Most of us get angered or provoked easily, wear our hearts on our sleeves and take in far too much emotion than what a human would probably need. We have degenerated into building a lifestyle where we eat and sleep at wierd times. We almost deliberately upset our own biological clocks, and by so doing, denied our bodies the chance to settle into their rhythmic cylces where they function at their best.

Three years ago, I was more or less a person who exemplified all the above qualites. In other words, I did not have a life. It was at this time that I decided to go to the gym everyday.

Exercising has had stunningly remarkable effects on me. Not only has it helped me stay healthy physically, it has also made me mentally strong. Whoever framed the sentence ' A healthybody results in a healthy mind' is a wise one.

Whenever a person exercises for a reasonable period of time, the body releases a natural hormone known as the endorphin. This magical biochemical is responsible for producing a feeling of well being and a calming effect on the mind. Hardly surprising then that I feel so good after I come back from the gym.

I should and will always continue to exercise.

Here on a Mission

2005-12-01T09:25:00.000-08:00

I sometimes wonder how I manage to gather the guts to ask God for more and more. There was hymn that we used to sing in school called 'Count your many blessings'. If only I sing that hymn to myself and tell myself that the hymn is absolutely right.

Having a good home, incredible parents, a truly lovely sister and a childhood fostered in the care of magnificent grandparents are things that I ought to be eternally grateful for. Right through my school and now in college I have had the privilege of having a wonderful circle of friends and being under the guidance of some of the best teachers that one could possible ask for.

My father and mother have always given me anything I craved for. It is true that I have shined well academically every single year of my existence. But does academic brilliance alone suffice what I can give back to my parents? I think not.

I have a strong feeling that I am here on this planet for a mission. It is not for nothing that I have been given the ability to sense and perceive things that other people my age cannot. It is not for no reason that I have been blessed with intelligence that has the potential to take me places ( I say this without the slightest trace of conceit). It is also not a mere coincidence that my skills at language and writing are in the realms of being termed as talents.

In keeping with all the things that I've mentioned above, I think one thing is clear. I need to use my multifold talents and inherent capacity to make it big in my life. I need to use them to elevate myself into a postion of authority. Only when I am in a position of authority and influence will I have the power to be an instrument of change in this world - to be an agent to bring about change. Change, in tune with my up bringing, my core ideologies and my strong views and beliefs.

I need to start my journey now - now is the time that is ripe. Now is the time that I have be strong in act, as I have been in thought. There is only one person that will be my sole, irreplacable and powerful friend to take me through this journey, and that is God. I have no other friend who listens to me and who has done so much for me. I have no other friend with whom I speak to so often. He alone is my rock. And I say with impunity that he will never fail me or desert me. :-)

Perhaps the song that would best decribe this journey of mine is Enya's 'My Book of Days' . She has the voice of angel.

Book Of Days - Enya
One day, one night, one moment
My dreams could be tomorrow
One step, one fall, one falter
East or West,
Over earth or by ocean
One way to be my journey
This way could be my Book of Days

No day, no night, no moment
Can hold me back from trying One flag, one fall, one falter
I'll find my day maybe Far and Away Far and Away
One day, one night one moment
With a dream to be leaving
One step, one fall, one falter
Find a new world across a wide ocean
This way became my journey
This day brings together Far and Away
This day brings together Far and Away Far and Away.

Challenges of the transition years

2005-11-27T08:43:00.000-08:00

Not too long ago, it so happened that I approached a teacher for a seemingly unconventional problem. Some may prefer to call it a sea of blues. Inability to concentrate fully in class, a study timetable in absolute tatters and an unrestrained, flaring temper were just a few symptoms. The aforementioned teacher, whose sagacity I deeply admire, looked up at me and considered me for a while. She then pointed the finger of suspicion on stress. The very idea of a student suffering from stress seemed ridiculous to me at that moment. But as I discovered at my own cost later, she was very much correct.

It is only natural in these circumstances, that one wonders why school life was so much different. I used to travel the same distance to school, have similar working hours and similar academic loads. Yet, despite all of this, the question of why school was so much more enjoyable compared to college remains unanswered. Palpably absurd? Not in the slightest.

The answer to this perhaps lies in the transition from teenage years to adulthood, where priorities and attitudes undergo a sea change. As one enters into the realms of adulthood, the influence of wild teen hormones somewhat diminishes (although not completely) and reaches a plateau. I believe that this transition is of paramount importance in the life of any individual, and the challenges during these crucial years have to be enlisted, and dealt with all the advice and wisdom that one can muster.

During these transition years, career and social goals are often uppermost in the minds of most people. I take these to be obvious. But as with so many things in this ever-changing world, the challenges that one faces during these years are so crucial, that they invariably decide the direction of the future. They can mould you a bright future, or leave you crippled for life –a fact that is all too often taken lightly.

Whilst one of the main challenges is to maintain a balance between academic, extracurricular and personal activities, an even greater challenge is to achieve this in the most stress free way possible. As school kids, we stick to our daily regimen without complaining and lead relatively stress free lives. But transition into adulthood brings along with it a whole host of choices, and we become slaves to bad habits, laziness standing out as the most prominent.

It is beyond doubt that a certain minimal amount of stress is unavoidable and cannot be eliminated. The BBC’s documentary “Explorations” apocalyptically warns that stress hormones will ultimately ebb the immune system and prove to be fatal to human survival. Stress, as I would put it, is clearly a major challenge in the life of any young adult and one must learn to deal with it adequately.

Early adulthood also marks the period of peak intellectual growth and physical prowess. This is a time to expand one’s intellect and creativity, to form opinions and to vouch for strong personal beliefs. Yet, I regret to say that most universities in India, needless to mention the VTU, have done next to nothing to stimulate creativity and enhance one’s intellect. Churning out record number of professionals every year with strong technical backgrounds, but with little creativity and a primitive mindset is like having a fully adorned chariot without the horses. It is a complete travesty and is utterly meaningless. For any young undergraduate such as us, the ability to widen one’s horizons beyond the walls of academics and university syllabi should clearly be a major challenge.

Having said the things that I have above, there is one other challenge whose importance comes above all others. The immensity of this challenge is such that it applies equally to any other person as it does to a young adult. Perhaps the greatest challenge facing the young generation today is to develop qualities of tolerance and rational thinking. In a world ruled by hate-ideologies and uncertainty, where malice and violence are in blanket abundance, tolerance and empathy are indispensable. This is an age where petty politics, personal vendetta, factionalism and patronage systems are in dominance. India has 600 million people under the age of 30. If these young people are to change the course of the future of this country, they cannot do it without these virtues.

Tolerance towards the views, rights and achievements of others, empathy towards parents (albeit with a generation gap) and others alike are key traits, which every person should try to emulate. If one becomes a major in software programming and achieves high academic feats, but has little tolerance and empathy, then his education is as useless as a one armed juggler. I’m reminded of the words of the great Helen Keller, who once said “The highest result of any education is tolerance.” I suppose it is needless to elaborate further. Helen Keller is undoubtedly right, and if we go by her words above, then George Bush and Tony Blair hold the dubious distinction of being the most illiterate leaders of the west to have been reelected twice.

I’d like to conclude by saying that college life is a time of excitement, triumph and personal happenings, as well as one of great many challenges. Anyone who ignores these challenges or is oblivious to them is doing so at his own peril. The ominous task of balancing the various chores of life, of fine-tuning the mind and carving our own pathways to the future is daunting no doubt, but not unachievable. There is a vast difference in being child-like and in being childish. I’m convinced that these challenges, when dealt with the right approaches, will contribute to a bright future for oneself, and an even brighter future for the wider world. As we pass through the rough stretches of college life –with its new opportunities and experiences, we must tackle these challenges.

Karthik Dinakar

Here I am

2005-11-06T09:34:00.000-08:00

If most writing is a private affair, I daresay that some of it ought to be shared. I live in a world where there are mortals other than Ro - people that care for me and influence me.

So the time has come to call this my space, to transform all those wonderful ideas and experiences into words, all for the world to see.

Whilst remaining true to myself, I will write my mind - just me, myself and my thoughts, with no strings attached.

So watch me.